Year 2010 Tributes

For pet names beginning with "K".

My best friend Kaizer, from the moment I laid eyes on you I LOVED you. You were so much more to us that just a dog or a pet. I still can't believe your gone. You were taken from us way too soon. My heart is just torn to shreds. I dread going home. The fact that you won't be flying over the puppy gate standing at the door wagging your litte nub for a tail & holding your bone for me to see looking soooo very proud is almost more than I can bear. I will miss you standing on the end of the bed just waiting for us to come & hug you and you putting your head on our shoulder just like you were hugging us back. You have showed us so much unconditional love. Always know that we loved you & will always love you so much more than anyone could even imagine. There will never ever be another Kaizer. You were one of a kind my friend. Until I see you again you will forever be in my memories & completely have my heart. I love you baby boy. ALWAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kali, you are dearly missed! I love you so much, and miss you more than I thought possible. Your passing was so sudden - I think I am still in shock that you are gone. Sometimes I think I hear you walking down to the hall or barking to come in, and then I'm heartbroken to remember you're no longer with us. I now know you were in pain for a while. I'm sorry I didn't realize just how much you were hurting, but thank you for waiting for me and letting me know without any doubt that you were ready for me to let you go. Your beautiful eyes, your funny smile, your cute bark, your noisy snores -- I miss it all. I miss you, Kali. Know that you are loved, forever and always. I regret not being with you the weekend prior to your death, and I hope you can forgive me. If I had known, I never would have left. I know you are in a better place -- a place without pain and suffering. Thank you for giving us 14+ years to love you. You were a good dog, Kali. No, a GREAT dog. You will live forever in our hearts.

Oh, Kane,
I wasn't ready buddy..... but, then you knew I would never be. You were for a while now, I just didn't want to see it. I know that know, I am so sorry. You always put yourself last and me first. As you did in the end, looking up at me and worry in your eyes for me, not for yourself.  
God gave us a year longer than the doctors thought, a good year too. More swimming and sun for you. Pizza too. The pain is so bad....... the spot beside me empty.......your pillow on the floor empty, the pillows next to my bed empty, my heart a huge empty hole. Attica is there waiting to show you the way my friend, waiting to guide you across to a place in the sun to play and spend your days swimming until I join you and we three are complete. I am a very fortunate human to have been blessed to have been chosen by you. You gave me 9 wonderful faithful and joyous years my friend.. I have a void that will never ever be filled, and you will never ever be forgotten as the one other incredible creature that came before you. You comforted me through her loss, faith and memories will have to get me through this.  
Until we meet again my friend

I bought you sight unseen but it felt right when I was told what you looked like and your disposition. I sent you my scent to have in your pen and will never forget when I came to collect you from the breeder. You wagged your tail when I picked you up to begin our journey. I enjoyed every day with you and love you with all my heart. We had a good life together even though it seems so short. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you and smile at your personality and a day that goes by that I don't ache with missing you. Rufus still looks for you and I do understand his pain. We will see you again, my friend. I know you are surrounded with love and I know you miss me too. I am sure Shep met you and is watching over you and you two are the best of friends now. You brought so much joy to me and I treasure that as much now as I let you know while we were together. I have your ashes by my bed and in time will place some of them in the Etowah where you loved to swim when we camped.. Peace to you Kane, my loyal companion, friend, and guardian.  
I love and miss you.

Beloved sister of Sue, Kareena through her unconditional love and devotion along with her true grit continued to make the house a home even after Sue preceded her to the Rainbow Bridge on December 20, 2009. The house is now very empty. Now reunited with Sue and, along with her, Kareena remains forever in our hearts . . . and look forward to the time we all meet again.

David Nevin
Nancy Mohrmann

KASI, THE DAY WE MET WE FORMED A BOND AND THROUGH IT ALL YOU WERE THERE, I MISS U GOD KNOWS I MISS YOU MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW, NOW THAT YOUR GONE I WISH WE COULD HAVE DONE MORE, WE HAD GOOD TIMES TOGETHER AND YOU WILL BE FOREVER LOVED, YOUR ALWAYS IN MY HEART AND FOREVER IN MY MIND YOU HAD A GOOD LIFE AND YOU MADE MY LIFE BETTER. YOU ARE AT PEACE NOW WITH GOD, AND I KNOW YOU ARE HERE WITH ME I CAN FEEL YOU ALL AROUND ME, YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN MY KASI GIRL. I LOVE YOU AND ALWAYS WILL AND MISS YOU MORE THAN YOU KNOW.

LOVE DADDY

I MISS YOU MY PRETTY GIRL

My sweet Kitty girl. You came into my life a scared little puppy who after terrible abuse just couldn't seem to find your forever home. I was your fourth mommy and somehow with Dexter's help we managed to make a little family. When we lost Dexter all those years ago, I thought you would never recover. But instead, you turned into a tough junk yard dog who hated her new brother Kaldi but still loved her mommy. How very infrequently you would give me a little kiss on the face and then run away. I treasured every one of them. You tolerated all of our foster's with grace, even trying to be friends when one of them almost killed you. You kept going and going, even when we had to move to Florida last year and left the home you'd had for the last 7 years. But this was the best year of your life. You loved it here. I told everyone like an old boxer, you retired to Florida to live the good life. You slept in the sun, protected your brother from the cousin dogs and ran the roost. When we found out you had cancer, I thought we would lose you quickly. But not you, my girl. Your spirit won out and we had you for nearly another year. When you started to fade so fast last week, I didn't want to believe it, but I knew it was time for you to have some peach and comfort. I keep imagining what it must of have been like for you when you crossed the rainbow bridge. With no more pain, I think you ran all the way to meet Dexter.I bet Willow and Sparkie were there too. I think all my other babies throughout my life were there to meet you - Ebony, Shasta, Jubal, Harlow, and Banjo. How I miss all of you. You were so special to me, Kitty. I will never forget you and how you taught me that sometimes love means patience and kindness. I love you, Kit Kit.

Our hearts are broken over the passing of our dear little beagle named Keystone. Keystone would have been 17 years old and we had the pleasure of having him since the age of 7-1/2 weeks of age. He was the cutest little guy and loved everyone and everyone loved him. He was diagnosed in November with Diabetes but could not take any of the meds used to treat it. In the last few weeks he started to lose lots of weight and we could see his sight going and also his hearing. He started losing control of his business and he was just sad all the time. Last Sunday, he started to have seizures and we called the vet so we brought him in on Thursday. As soon as the vet saw Keystone, she said that is was time. I knew this day would come...but our hearts are shattered. I am really struggling but I know in my heart that this was the best for him. We stayed with him until he passed and he went so peacefully.
I know our little "beagle" boy that you are chasing the rabbits at the rainbow bridge.
Always know that mommy, daddy and Jonathon loved you with all our hearts and you will be missed forever.
Hugs and Kisses
Mommy, Daddy and Jonathon
Jessup, PA

You kissed away my tears this morning as I held you for the last time. Your little eyes were so sad ~ you knew you had to leave me. You carried all of my love with you to your sisters, Callie and Hanna~and your brothers Buck and P. T. You have given me your total unconditional love~from the day that we adopted each other all those years ago. I miss you so terribly now my little one ~ please give Daddy Bob all of my love and kiss him for me ~ we will all be together again soon, Khaki. I love you ~~~~ mommie

June 3, 2010 (Thursday)

Hi Kiddy,

Sorry that daddy has had to remove ''Letters to Kiddy'' from my Web site. For these letters, daddy has been ridiculed and attacked at an anonymous site econjobrumors.com. I couldn't really care less, but I don't want to drag you along. You are too innocent and beautiful to be bothered. I will continue writing the letters, but I will post them on the Tribute page of Petloss.com. Please check out the letters when you have a chance...

Love you,
Daddy

May 22, 2010 (Saturday)

Hi Kiddy,

Mommy just conceded that in her view you won the second round of the cuteness contest fair and square. Mommy also said you always had been on top of the cuteness scale in the house, with daddy taking care of the bottom rank of course. Way to go, Kiddy.

Mommy and daddy are doing some final prep for our long trip to Shanghai tomorrow. You probably won't hear from daddy tomorrow night because daddy's not sure whether there is in-flight internet service. Of course, daddy will be thinking of you all the time. Actually, that's pretty much everything daddy has been doing since Tuesday. Daddy even skipped a conference reception on Thursday night. Yesterday, I only showed up in school for two hours to meet two future colleagues over the conference lunch. We had agreed to meet over lunch, and it would have been impolite if daddy cancelled. Today, daddy is staying home again, and will eat out with mommy tonight in Great Lakes. Daddy also cancelled a conference trip to Victoria in order to come back to Ann Arbor together with mommy in about a month. You see? Daddy's skipping conferences, daddy's eating out with mommy (instead of asking her to bring home takeout), daddy's staying home over weekends, and daddy's coming home from work before 5pm on weekdays. You have changed daddy overnight, I mean, literally.

Daddy wants to take care of family now. I mean, really take care, not just by relaxing budget constraint, but by spending time, a lot of time, together. Daddy is feeling guilty for not recognizing the seriousness of your vomiting on Monday night. Daddy is feeling guilty for reading a textbook on Financial Statement Analysis last weekend instead of examining you more closely. Daddy is feeling guilty for googling "Why did my cat die suddenly?" on Tuesday afternoon ex post instead of doing that on Monday morning ex ante. The specific topic that daddy would google would have been different, but daddy could have learned something about caring for senior cats. Providing the microfoundation based on new classical principles for Graham and Dodd's (1934) Security Analysis can wait, for sure. So can a state-contingent production approach in investment-based asset pricing.

Mommy is doing the last-minute packing. Kelly and Julian, the neighbors who cared for you last summer, just dropped by to pick up the house keys. They agreed to care for you and the birds again this summer, but were saddened to learn about your passing. They said you hissed at them when they got close to you last time around, but you purred when Joe (Kelly's husband) petted you. "It could be a male thing," Kelly said. No wonder you and daddy got along so well. Just between you and me, I think mommy is recovering way better than daddy. Mommy resumed her work yesterday, but about the only thing in the world daddy can do right now is to write letters to you. I'm ignoring emails from coauthors, colleagues, and editors. Guys, give me a break. I'm sorry, but my daughter Kiddy just left me, okay? Daddy sees himself as strong, tough, and independent, always a winner. Prior to your passing, daddy was a super-efficient work machine. Daddy was good, I mean, real good. But you crushed daddy utterly and completely. You have turned daddy into a train wreck. Only you and mommy can do that. I always knew mommy could, but I'm finding out your nuclear power as we speak. Mango and Greenie are a lot of fun, but they're not there, yet.

I just kissed your forehead again. You still smell pretty darn good. Greenie is making all sorts of noise now. I'm sure you'll enjoy his and Mango's company when we're out of town. We're now teaching Greenie to say "Meow" when we ask "What did Kiddy say?". He already knows to make a barking sound when we ask "What does doggie say?" and to say "Guah, guah" when we ask "What does Mango say?". See? You're still an inseparable part of our lives, and will always remain that way.

Okay, daddy will stop here for the day, and will try to get to the backlog of emails. "Strong and independent"? let's see if daddy is really up to that reputation. I will write to you again in Shanghai...

...

Never mind. I'm back. Mommy is till packing. Daddy did a minimum amount of work-related emailing, then went out for dinner with mommy. Afterwards, we went to Meijer to buy a fresh bunch of flowers for you. On the way there mommy said that daddy went sh0pping with her twice this week (today and Tuesday), while she had been shopping all alone for at least four years prior to Tuesday. She also said daddy was defeated resoundingly by daughter Kiddy. I said I wanted to make it up to Kiddy.

After we came home, we moved your urn to the sun room to be close to the birds. We placed it on top of the coffer table. We put the cutest photo of yours into a frame and placed it to the right of your urn. Then we placed the two cards from your nurses and doctors to the right of the photo frame. To the left of your urn, we have the vase with the fresh bunch of flowers, along with the bunch that mommy and daddy bought for you on Tuesday. To the left of the vase, we placed your food bowl with the bag of Friskies's Party Mix. We had to let the can of seafood platter go, because it had been open since Tuesday. Mommy and daddy hope Mango and Greenie will keep you company, while we're away.

Mommy said earlier today that my letters to you are starting to get repetitive. So daddy packed Lipman's (1999) "Improving your storytelling: Beyond the basics for all who tell stories in work or play" in my laptop bag for the big trip tomorrow. Daddy wants to keep the letters interesting for you to read up there in Rainbow Bridge, in case you miss mommy and daddy. Earlier today, Kelly said you didn't eat any of the dry food for several days when we were out of the country last year, and that she had to buy canned wet food to entice you to eat. Missing us or not, you need to sleep well and eat well up there. It's important, okay? Daddy also packed 12 photos of yours that used to be above the fireplace in the living room. Mommy asked if we should also carry your urn with us. But daddy said as an indoor cat, you were not a big fan of traveling. It's better that you stay home and play with the birds.

On a related note, mommy and daddy are doing pretty well now. Over dinner at Great Lakes, mommy and daddy talked about cute things you used to do in our small Pine-Street apartment and then bigger Locust-Street apartment in Philly. Sharing each other's memories with Kiddy makes us happy. Daddy will try to tell these bed-time stories to you in future letters. Through these stories, mommy and daddy wanted to tell you that we feel blessed to have you in our lives for as long as we had. Oops, did I say mommy is recovering way better than daddy? I take that back. Mommy just got upset, as packing reminded her that you would become anxious and nervous when seeing us pack in previous years. You knew we were going out of town for an extended period of time. Don't worry, we'll be fine. We did better today than yesterday, and we did better yesterday than the day before yesterday, and so on, with Tuesday being T in the finite-horizon dynamic programming problem of course. Mommy and daddy hope that you're happy at the Bridge, and that the place is as good as described in one of the cards sent by your nice nurses and doctors.

Kissing you on the cute forehead...

Love you,
Daddy

May 23, 2010 (Sunday)

Hello Kiddy,

Guess what? Mommy and daddy are sitting comfortably in a Boeing 777 on-route to Shanghai, China. We're flying over Michigan's upper peninsular at 30,000 feet and the ground speed of 558 miles per hour. The head wind is 21 miles per hour. The outside temperature is -36-degree Fahrenheit. And we're pointing at the northwest direction at an angle of 60 degrees. As we speak, we have just passed upper peninsular, and will enter Canadian airspace in no time.

A pretty stewardess just walked past our row. Keep it quiet, please, don't tell mommy I said that. Before we left the house around noon, daddy kissed you again on the forehead. I returned your urn on the coffer table in the sun room, and asked Mango and Greenie to take care of their sister Kiddy. You spent last night again in our bed. With your company, mommy and daddy again slept really well. I had you behind my back, just like the old days. Although you were not pushing your back against daddy's last night like you used to do, I was pretty happy in that you were close by.

How're things going up there in the Bridge? It's been five and a half days since you ascended up there. Are you settling down nicely? Have you had an orientation at the Bridge? Are other animals nice to you? What's the color of your new bed? I bet it's angel white. Do they serve 9LIVES up there? Do they charge for food and boarding? If they do, do they accept currencies from Earth? Mommy and daddy will be happy to send you as much as you need. Just let us know. Are you getting angel wings, maybe you've already got them? You were already a cutie pie in our house; with the wings, I bet you'll be a world-class heartbreaker.

Okay, they're serving dinner on the plane now. Daddy will be back after the meal...

...

Daddy's back. Our triple-7 is now flying over Yukon in Canada, and will enter Alaska shortly. Do you know Alaska? That's where you can see Russia from your house. We'll soon be flying between Fairbanks and Anchorage. We're cruising at 34,000 feet, our ground speed is 549 miles per hour, and outside temperature is -70-degree Fahrenheit. Daddy is getting better. I packed plenty of your photos with me this morning. The pictures are now in my pocket just behind my wallet. Whenever daddy misses Kiddy, I take the photos out and kiss them.

...

Hello from Shanghai! There was a bit of problem with mommy and daddy's reservation at our hotel. It was time-confusing and a bit frustrating, but we fixed it. It's better to forget about negative experience, and turn my energy to writing to Kiddy. Mommy and daddy will stay in Shanghai for about a month, visiting family and friends. Daddy also will give a few seminars in local universities. Right now, it's Monday night in Shanghai, and mommy and daddy are exhausted after the long flight (14.5 hours). We will place your photos beneath our pillows, and have you in our dreams. Please drop by our dreams when you have a chance. Mommy and daddy want to see you if you're not too busy...

Love you,
Daddy

May 24, 2010 (Monday)

Hi Kiddy,

It's actually Tuesday morning in Shanghai, but daddy will observe EST in writing to you. (Shanghai is 12 hours ahead of Ann Arbor.) Mommy and daddy are busy preparing your first Monday candle ceremony since your passing. We will do it privately in our hotel room in Shanghai. And we're following closely the instructions on Petloss.com. We have six of your photos laid out nicely on a round coffer table by the window. And mommy and daddy will go out soon to see if we can buy three candles for the ceremony. If we cannot find them, we will simply light three lamps in the room. The ceremony starts at 10pm EST, so we'll start at our end at 10am Tuesday (in real time).

Daddy has added your name on the Bridgelist at Petloss.com. So you can be in the prayers of thousands of people across the globe at 10pm EST on every Monday night. In addition to daddy's Web site, I also have posted the letters on the Tribute page at Petloss.com. So you can read mommy and daddy's thoughts from multiple sources.

...

We just got back to the hotel room. We've found everything we need for the candle ceremony. We've bought 9 red candles in a tiny grocery store across the street and a bundle of fresh white flowers from the hotel flower shop. We've moved your photos up against the window, and placed the flowers on the coffer table in front of your photos. And we put three red candles in front of the flowers. We will light the candles at 9:50pm EST, and will keep them on for at least half an hour. Did I say 9:50pm? Daddy couldn't wait and lit the candles shortly after 9:30pm. We'll have them on for at least an hour.

...

Mommy and daddy just completed the candle ceremony. We had the candles on for almost one and a half hours. We even chatted a bit with other pet lovers when attended the ceremony online. Daddy's screen names was "kiddydaddy." Everyone was sending loving messages to their pets. Daddy sent "Thanks, Kiddy, for 12 wonderful years" "Daddy is so sorry for missing the warnings last Monday night" and "Sleep tight, Kiddy mee, and sweet dreams." One nice lady sent e-flowers to 9 different animals! Imagine what she must be going through. We said hi to others in the chat room, and exchanged greeting with some of them.

You always had been a big girl since you joined our family. I remember there was this one time shortly after mommy adopted you in St. Louis, daddy was bragging to friends that two of us would be the heaviest in the WashU econ department. Daddy was a PhD student there at the time.

Since it's still daytime in Shanghai, daddy will try to get some work done, and slowly start the long process of putting my life back together. Daddy has a presentation in exactly a week, and will need to do some prep work. I will try to write to you whenever I can.

Sleep tight, Kiddy mee, and sweet dreams...

Love you,
Daddy

May 25, 2010 (Tuesday)

Hi Kiddy,

Daddy is writing to you in my new office at SAIF. It's a brand new building and the office setup is awesome. I'm sure daddy can get some work done in this new environment. People here are very nice and helpful.

Daddy has not written much today because the internet connection from daddy's laptop seems to be messed up in the hotel room. (Mommy can access internet via her laptop, no problem.) But everything is working out fine in the SAIF office. Mommy said Kiddy knocked out daddy's internet connection because you want daddy to go back to work. You want daddy to put my life back together, and learn to be happy again. Mommy even kicked daddy out of the hotel room because she feels daddy's presence annoyingly depressing. I guess it's time to move on with our lives. Rest assured, you'll never be forgotten. Oh, right. Daddy is using one of your cute pictures as the wall paper on daddy's laptop.

Daddy will have to work on the slides for the June 1 presentation in SHUFE now. Take care...

Love you,
Daddy

May 26, 2010 (Wednesday)

Hi Kiddy,

Today daddy has finally finished the slides to be presented in the SHUFE conference. It's safe to say that daddy is recovering from losing you. Daddy is still saddened by your passing, but is glad that mommy and daddy had you for 12 beautiful years. We have had lots of fun memories together, including the times when your poop smelled so bad that it even woke me up from sleep. I would yell "Kiddy", and you would disappear beneath my bed in no time.

Mommy and daddy went to grandma and grandpa's place for dinner yesterday. We showered them with gifts, and they seemed very happy. Do you know this was the first dinner that mommy had with them in a long, long time? Your passing has made it clear that nothing lasts forever. And we're making an effort to make things better, despite generational and cultural differences. With mommy's help, daddy also will take them for a week-long vacation in Beijing before mommy and daddy go back to Ann Arbor. You see? You continue to improve and enrich our lives even in absence...

Love you,
Daddy

May 27, 2010 (Thursday)

Hi Kiddy,

Believe it or not, daddy's writing to you while sitting in a cab on my way to grandma and grandpa's place. I left the SAIF office at 3:45pm, thinking about beating the traffic hour, but unsuccessfully. Shanghai is such a big city, and there are cars, people, and skyscrapers everywhere. Right, it's Friday afternoon in Shanghai, no wonder the traffic is this bad. Okay, we just passed Shanghai No. 3 Girls Middle School, and there is a Sichuan restaurant coming up from the right side of the road, called Jiangshu Road. Alas, daddy has no idea which direction the cab is driving though. We just passed a place called SOHO Gym! Shanghai is getting more westernized by the second... Okay, we're now on Chaoyan road, again, daddy has no idea which direction we're going... We just turned right on Zhong shan bei road, but we're stuck again in heavy traffic. There are just cars everywhere, and nobody is moving... Okay, we're turning left onto a whatever street, and we're stopped again... Hmm, it looks odd, I think daddy might be taken for a ride, the cab-fare is accumulating beyond the normal range. And I still don't recognize where the heck I'm. But who cares?... Okay, I think we're getting close, finally...

Mommy is in a different cab on her way to her older brother's apartment. She will spend her weekend with her family, while daddy will spend mine with my parents. Daddy will see Shanghai Expo tomorrow with my side of the family. I'll take some cool pictures tomorrow to show you in the following days. Mommy has agreed to have dinner in grandma and grandpa's place again on Monday night before we go to SHUFE together for the Tuesday conference. See, daddy is not the only parent whom you have softened.

For the second day in a row, daddy is able to concentrate and do some academic work. After 10 days, daddy's no longer paralyzed in spirit. But I still miss you terribly.

Two days ago, when mommy and daddy visited grandma and grandpa's place, we saw a nice lady feeding a large group of cats and kittens. We were told the lady does this twice everyday, early morning and late afternoon. Just like daddy's schedule with you on the other side of the globe. There were some cute ones in the group, but none of them can come close to the way you looked.

Daddy is too wasted, and will have to sleep now. I will talk to you again tomorrow...

Love you,
Daddy

May 28, 2010 (Friday)

Hi Kiddy,

Daddy went to see Shanghai World Expo today with grandma and grandpa. We had a great time and took a ton of pictures. I will upload these photos soon so you can take a look. We walked pretty much all day long, and I'm completely exhausted.

Also, daddy ordered a book titled "The Cat Bible: Everything Your Cat Expects You to Know" from Amazon. I wanted to understand more about your behavior. I wish I had done this sooner. However, I consider studying this book worthwhile even at this point because doing so will shed new light on all the fun memories that I have with you.

Love you,
Daddy

May 29, 2010 (Saturday)

Hi Kiddy,

Daddy just uploaded two photos from the trip to World Expo in Shanghai yesterday. See above.

I still miss you constantly, and regret that I was not sufficiently alert to send you to your hospital on Sunday, May 16 or on Monday, May 17. From cats.about.com, daddy has learned that lethargy, weakness, continued vomiting, and loss of appetite are signs of sickness that should trigger an immediate trip to the veterinary hospital. Alas, daddy didn't know enough to respond to the ominous warnings. I'm very sorry. Daddy had the chance to do something to possibly save your life on Monday night, but I blew it. Failing to respond to your illness is the biggest regret so far in my life. I've made many mistakes over the years, most of which I can fix. But I do not have a second chance to take good care of you. Using an online cat years calculator, daddy figures out that your human-year age was 72 when you passed on. This age is not unreasonable. And I hope you feel you had a good life with mommy and daddy. Mommy just called from the hotel, and said in tears that she was thinking about the way you were laying in your bed lifeless.

I remember in 2007 sometime after we discovered the small tumor on your tail but before your surgery, I discussed your condition with a colleague on 7th floor of Executive Residence. He expressed his sympathy, but warned I should be prepared for the inevitability that you would not be around forever. That thought saddened me, and I managed not to think much about it. Daddy wants to tell you that mommy and daddy love you very much. We wish that we could have told you this more often when you were around, and that we could have done more to take better care of you. Alas, daddy only learns to appreciate the beauty after it is lost...

Love you,
Daddy

May 30, 2010 (Sunday)

Hi Kiddy,

Here are two photos of daddy outside USA pavilion at Shanghai World Expo. The queuing time outside this pavilion was more than four hours, so I didn't go in. In fact, I didn't go in any of the pavilions because of their often insane queuing time. I'm averse to the idea of standing in a queue doing nothing.

Mommy and daddy have many more pictures of yours, but not in an e-format. We plan to use a digit camera to take pictures of your pictures, so we can use them on this Web site. We'll try to get this done shortly after we return to the States.

Daddy has been repeatedly playing the memories from the night of your passing like a movie in my head. When mommy came downstairs that night to check on us, she couldn't find Kiddy. I noticed that you were hiding beneath my desk, a behavior that you had not displayed for quite some time. With some Monday morning quarterbacking, your hiding usually meant you were anxious and nervous about something. At one point, you walked out and laid in front of my chair where I was sitting. I noticed you vomited again, so I helped you clean up your mouth. At one point, I did feel something was off because you didn't move at all for more than an hour. I was worried so I checked on you, and asked "Are you okay? Kiddy mee?". I took it as a reassuring sign that you wagged your tail several times. I thought you were tired and didn't want to bother with me. Daddy vastly underestimated the seriousness of your situation because of my poor knowledge on caring for senior cats. I should have learned more about this topic in hindsight. You were still laying in front of my chair when I went to bed at 1:25am. But you had returned to your bed when I found you gone at 5:15am in the morning. It distresses me every time to think that you were trying to be close to daddy even when you were in pain during your final hours. You freely gave mommy and daddy your unconditional love for 12 years. I'm so very sorry for not being alarmed enough to call veterinary care emergencies. Please forgive daddy, Kiddy. Daddy was not being uncaring, daddy was being ignorant. You were mommy and daddy's first life-long companion, and will likely be the last. We love you very much...

Hope things are going well up there in Rainbow Bridge.

Love you,
Daddy

May 31, 2010 (Monday)

Hi Kiddy,

Do you like daddy's photos taken at Shanghai World Expo?

Because daddy's presentation at SHUFE tomorrow is shortly after 10am, which is 10pm Monday night in Ann Arbor. As such, daddy won't be able to attend the Monday candle ceremony on May 31 per EST. To compensate, mommy and daddy held the candle ceremony in your honor around noon in Shanghai per Beijing time. We again laid out six cute pictures of yours on the round coffer table by the window in our hotel room. And we lit 3 candles, and kept them on for about 3 hours.

Mommy told me earlier the story how she adopted you in the APA in St. Louis. She said there were many people looking for adoptees that day. They were all looking at the cages with mostly kittens, and the kittens were trying their best of best to impress the folks by meowing and behaving in an adorable way. We humans think we have superior intelligence, and we don't give other animals enough credits. I think the kittens were smart enough to recognize what's at stake: be adopted into a loving home and live a happy life vs. be put into sleep after a predetermined showing time without finding a home. What attracted mommy's attention to you is your contrarian approach. Unlike the kittens who were busy selling themselves, you were facing inside of your cage, and turned your back to the potential patrons. Mommy found you unusual, and looked at your paperwork. It said that you were born in July 1996, very affectionate, liked dry food and playing balls, but hated children. Mommy opened your cage, asked you to come out. You turned your back to face mommy, crawled out of the cage, and put your front paws on mommy's shoulder, one on each side. Then, very surprisingly and affectionately, you rubbed your forehead against mommy's chin, left to right. With that long and deep rub, you won mommy's heart, right then and right there. The rest, as they say, is history. Do you know prior to mommy's trip to the APA, we actually talked about getting a small kitten? I remember the first sentence I said when seeing you for the first time is: How come you adopted such a big cat? Sorry, Kiddy, but you won daddy over instantly and thoroughly afterwards. I believe fate brought you into our home. You were born 12 time zeros away from where mommy and daddy were born. Yet fate brought all of us together in the same city, and fate united three of us to form a loving home. Mommy and daddy believe you were the coolest cat in the world. We love you very much...

Love you,
Daddy

May 20, 2010 (Thursday)

Hi Kiddy,

How was your day today in Rainbow Bridge? Have you had fun with other animals up there? You're like daddy, with plenty of rough edges, and are not very social. Take it easy, Kiddy mee. Give yourself plenty of time to make new friends. Be cool. In the mean time, daddy will keep writing to you, so you don't have to feel lonely.

The nurses and doctors at your hospital sent us a nice condolence card today. It was very kind of them to do that. The card contains an essay that describes Rainbow Bridge from an unknown author. Daddy types it up below, so you can take a look:

"Just this side of Heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water, and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor, those who were hurt or maimed are made whole again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing, they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent, his eager body begins to quiver. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face, your hands caress the beloved head and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together..."

The nice nurses and doctors also signed the card. Kelly said "I'm very sorry for your loss. Our thoughts are with you." Jennifer said "I'm sorry to hear about the passing of Kiddy. Our thoughts are with you at this time." Sandy said "So sorry to hear of your loss. Kiddy was a wonderful companion." Dr. Kan said "All my warmest wishes are with you during this difficult time. Kiddy was very fortunate to have been so loved." Dr. Adzigian said "I'm so sorry for your loss of Kiddy. I know she will be greatly missed." Dr. Berry said "We are all so sorry to hear about Kiddy. She had a happy life as a cherished member of your family and we know she'll be missed."

On a more upbeat note, mommy and daddy are actually getting better today. With you back in the house, albeit in an urn, we're feeling a sense of peace and acceptance. Mommy started to play with Mango and Green (the birds) again today. She is now out with aunt Erica, doing some last-minute shopping in Macy's for our Sunday's trip to Shanghai. Mommy found the bag of Friskies's Party Mix that daddy bought for you back in February. She put the bag on top of the can of 9LIVES in your bowl. The can is opened, but with the lid on though. You could easily open it. Daddy knows you wanted to open cans of 9LIVES all your life. I saw you trying to do that plenty of times, but to no avail. Alas, I didn't help you back then because dry food was healthier for you. Mommy called this "Tough love." Let's face it. You were not the slimmest girl in the house. Mommy always wins that contest, I mean hands down, although it would be a tossup between you and mommy in terms of cuteness.

You see, mommy and daddy are doing well. You just go on with your new life in the Bridge. Sleep, eat, play, and laugh!

Are you hearing Greenie keeps calling out "Daddy?". From a bird cage in the sun room, he knows I'm writing to you in the living room, and he wants my attention. "Everybody wants a piece of daddy," like I used to say to you when adding dry food to your bowl. You would be so eager to put your head in the bowl that your cute head would block the flow of the food. Hey, didn't you hear that patience is the supreme virtue of the gods? And sorry, Greenie, daddy wants to take care of Kiddy now, okay? Oops, he just screamed "What're you doing?" in mandarin. So I ran to the sun room and moved his cage to the living room. He can now see me, and has quieted down.

Mommy's home!

Aunt Erica showed up tonight to see you. She stayed for almost three hours. We looked at old pictures of yours with us together, and talked about the happy times. We picked several cool pictures to be posted on this Web site soon. Do you remember aunt Erica? She looked after you by dropping by our place twice every week, when mommy and daddy were out of the country for one month, always in summer. She said you stayed in our bed, looking all depressed when we were not around. Sorry, Kiddy mee, but mommy and daddy need to spend time with our parents too.

Daddy went to school today. Mommy said it would be good for me to get out of the house. She said it would be harder for her to recover if I keep iterating around a suboptimal fixed point. Okay, she didn't say that, especially the "iterating..." part. I paraphrased what she said. See, daddy talks like a nerdy economist, a macroeconomist, to be precise. Our species mess with dynamic stochastic equilibrium models, for crying out loud. Mango just sneezed, and in a cute way, though not as cute as when you did it. I mean, even with daddy being such a drag on you guys, the average cuteness index of our household was going through the roof. Oh, right. Before I left for office today, I packed six pictures of yours in my laptop bag. You know daddy always carries my laptop wherever I go. By laying out your pictures nearby, daddy can feel close to you even when I'm working in a hotel room anywhere in the world.

Mommy just said you can sleep in-between the two of us in our bed tonight, just like the old days. I'll take your urn upstairs with me when I'm ready to sleep. For now, I want to try to post your e-pictures on this Web site.

Sweet dreams, Kiddy mee. Daddy will be back online tomorrow...

Love you,

Daddy

May 21, 2010 (Friday)

Hi Kiddy,

Daddy's back. Mommy complained earlier today that I was biased in your favor by picking a subpar picture of hers in the first round of the cuteness contest. So daddy organized the second round, see above. As far as daddy is concerned, it's still pretty much a tossup, and you didn't even have to show your cute face.

Mommy and daddy slept really well last night. With your urn in-between the two of us, we felt peaceful. Mommy just said we can do this again tonight. Your urn is a brown wooden box shaped like a rectangular. On the front of the urn, there is a picture of your cute head. Mommy and daddy love to kiss the upper front rim of the urn, and say love you, Kiddy. Doing this reminds me of kissing you on the forehead. Daddy used to do this everyday. Daddy also liked to rub the tip of my nose against yours, which had a nice pinkish color. You had a really sweet scent, especially after mommy gave you a warm bath using a lot of Pantene.

Your hospital sent mommy and daddy another card today, "A note of thanks..." signed by "Team at VCA Woodland Animal Hospital." The card says "Thank you for the generous donation to our Adoptee/Rescue Fund - many cats and kittens will be helped in Kiddy's memory." We put this card and the one we received yesterday to the right side of your 14 photos that are above the fireplace in the living room as a part of your memorial. Your nurses and doctors are really nice. Daddy didn't think the donation was particularly generous. But mommy is charge of capital allocation in the house. I just bring in the checks.

Mommy said you helped her today finding her cell phone to be used in our old country. As part of the packing for our upcoming trip to Shanghai, for several days she had been trying to find that cell phone everywhere in the house, but to no avail. Then earlier today she had an idea. She said out loud: Kiddy mee, help mommy find the cell phone (in mandarin). Then she went to a drawer which she had already searched. She reached her right hand deep inside the drawer, and miraculously, found the cell phone up against the innermost wall of the drawer. All these happened within a few seconds right after she asked you for help. Excited, mommy called me immediately in the office to tell me that you responded to her request. Daddy tries to be a scientist and all, but I do want to keep an open mind. I mean, are you serious you have supernatural powers now? If that's the case, hmm..., can you get daddy a Nobel Prize? I don't mean to be greedy and all, only one is enough. And I'm not in a hurry, if you can get to it within the next 30 years, that'll be great... Ha ha, never mind, the joke is on daddy. Mommy and daddy do hope you're still around the house though. And I certainly wouldn't be surprised if you indeed are. But if you're watching over mommy and daddy from up there in the Bridge, that'll be the best.

We're now spending most of our time close to your memorial in the living room. Greenie is playing by himself on the bird stand, which we now place in front of your memorial. The six candles have been lit all day. We always have them on whenever we're around. Mommy and daddy have had some takeout from Middle Kingdom for dinner. The food was fine, but there was nothing you would be interested in. Sitting on the living room floor, Daddy is writing to you on my laptop on the coffee stand that faces the front door of our house. As noted in a prior letter from daddy, I refuse to work on the desk in the walk-out basement downstairs any longer. Mommy was playing with Mango with the toy dog in the living room just two minutes ago. Mango was going crazy, trying to bite the toy with her beak, while shouting out "go grill," "hello," "hi", and a variety of other Mango-specific noises. We figured her previous owner must have been barbecuing a lot. I'm sure you had seen Mango going nuts like this before in the living room. Mommy and Mango are now in the upstairs master bedroom. Mango is in her cage, with all sides covered, as in her standard sleeping mode. Mommy is on the phone with a friend again. It's safe to say she is more social than both you and daddy.

Do you remember just last Sunday, daddy brought Mango downstairs to our basement to play? Mango tried to harass your tail with her beak, and daddy swiftly stopped her. Mommy said Mango must have mistaken your tail with the toy dog. You were so cool, you just walked away from Mango. If you were five years younger, I bet you would have put Mango in her proper place (hopefully not your dinner plate), no questions asked. Given your passive approach in handling inter-sibling dynamics, daddy had to move your two bowls closer to the basement stairs, because Mango took over your regular feeding spot. Within ten minutes, mommy dragged Mango upstairs, so you would again run the basement. At one point on Sunday, daddy spotted you looking outside through the screen door. I opened the screen door, and invited you to go out and explore. I even nudged you from behind. And you refused to budge. With your careful and gentle nature, getting along with other residents of the Bridge should be a walk in the park for you. Daddy just wanted to keep you updated with what's going on in the house. I hope daddy is not embarrassing you in front of your new friends with all the trivia. If daddy is, just let me know, and I'll send the letters to a more private address.

Okay, I thought that was it for the day. But mommy and daddy cannot fall in sleep just yet. By the way, you're again with us in the bed. Your picture on the urn is really cute. Daddy picked one of your best photos taken in 2002, when you were just six years old. Back then you were a personal hygiene freak. Daddy remembers you would be cleaning yourself all the time. We talked about your quality of life in this past year. Mommy feels that she somewhat neglected you during that time. You were not cleaning yourself as diligently as before, and mommy didn't make up the difference. I said nonsense. You were stationed in the walk-out basement with daddy in this past year, so it was natural that daddy got to spend more time with Kiddy. And it should be daddy's job to help you out. I'm sorry that I only did a minimal amount of cleaning for you. Nevertheless, I always gave you enough, probably even a bit excessive, amount of food and plenty of water. It was hard for me to say no to your cute eyes when being asked for food. Daddy felt good to be your provider.

Sleep tight, Kiddy mee. Daddy will check on you again tomorrow. Say hi to your new friends at the Bridge for mommy and daddy...

Love you,

Daddy

May 22, 2010 (Saturday)

Hi Kiddy,

Mommy just conceded that in her view you won the second round of the cuteness contest fair and square. Mommy also said you always had been on top of the cuteness scale in the house, with daddy taking care of the bottom rank of course. Way to go, Kiddy.

Mommy and daddy are doing some final prep for our long trip to Shanghai tomorrow. You probably won't hear from daddy tomorrow night because daddy's not sure whether there is in-flight internet service. Of course, daddy will be thinking of you all the time. Actually, that's pretty much everything daddy has been doing since Tuesday. Daddy even skipped a conference reception on Thursday night. Yesterday, I only showed up in school for two hours to meet two future colleagues over the conference lunch. We had agreed to meet over lunch, and it would have been impolite if daddy had to cancel. Today, daddy is staying home again, and will eat out with mommy tonight in Great Lakes. Daddy also cancelled a conference trip to Victoria in order to come back to Ann Arbor together with mommy in about a month. You see? Daddy's skipping conferences, daddy's eating out with mommy (instead of asking her to bring home takeout), daddy's staying home over weekends, and daddy's coming home from work before 5pm on weekdays. You have changed daddy overnight, I mean, literally.

Daddy wants to take care of family now. I mean, really take care, not just by relaxing budget constraint, but by spending time, a lot of time, together. Daddy is feeling guilty for not recognizing the seriousness of your vomiting on Monday night. Daddy is feeling guilty for reading a textbook on Financial Statement Analysis last weekend instead of examining you more closely. Daddy is feeling guilty for googling "Why did my cat die suddenly?" on Tuesday afternoon ex post instead of doing that on Monday morning ex ante. The specific topic that daddy would google would have been different, but daddy could have learned something about caring for senior cats. Providing the microfoundation for Graham and Dodd's (1934) Security Analysis based on new classical principles can wait, for sure.

Mommy is doing the last-minute packing. Kelly and Julian, the neighbors who cared for you last summer, just dropped by to pick up the house keys. They agreed to care for you and the birds again this summer, but were saddened to learn about your passing. They said you hissed at them when they got close to you last time around, but you purred when Joe (Kelly's husband) petted you. "It could be a male thing," Kelly said. No wonder you and daddy got along so well. Just between you and me, I think mommy is recovering way better than daddy. Mommy resumed her work yesterday, but about the only thing in the world daddy can do right now is to write letters to you. I'm ignoring emails from coauthors, colleagues, and editors. Guys, give me a break. I'm sorry, but my daughter Kiddy just left me, okay? Daddy sees himself as strong, tough, and independent, always a winner. Prior to your passing, daddy was a super-efficient work machine. Daddy was good, I mean, real good. But you crushed daddy utterly and completely. You have turned daddy into a train wreck. Only you and mommy can do that. I always knew mommy could, but I'm finding out your nuclear power as we speak. Mango and Greenie are a lot of fun, but they're not there, yet.

I just kissed your forehead again. You still smell pretty darn good. Greenie is making all sorts of noise now. I'm sure you'll enjoy his and Mango's company when we're out of town. We're now teaching Greenie to say "Meow" when we ask "What did Kiddy say?". He already knows to make a barking sound when we ask "What does doggie say?" and to say "Guah, guah" when we ask "What does Mango say?". See? You're still an inseparable part of our lives, and will always remain that way.

Okay, daddy will stop here for the day, and will try to get to the backlog of emails. "Strong and independent"? let's see if daddy is really up to that reputation. I will write to you again in Shanghai...

Love you,

Daddy

May 19, 2010 (Wednesday)

Hi Kiddy,

It’s daddy again. Did you see the letter that daddy and mommy wrote to you in the Tribute session of Petloss.com? We hope you liked it. Mommy and I stayed together last night in the third-floor bedroom. Neither of us wanted to be alone after your passing earlier in that morning.

As you know, daddy is mostly a writer. So writing is the way that I know how to honor and remember you. And writing is the way through which daddy grieves. Mommy is talking to her friends about your passing. That’s her way of dealing with grief. Daddy’s way is writing.

I woke up this morning and came down to our walk-out basement, where we shared space for the past year (me with my home office and you with your e-carpeted bed, bowls (one for dry food and one for water), and litter boxes). I lit up the six candles again, in front of the fresh flowers, the can of seafood platter, and your 14 photos. I had to extinguish the candles before going to bed last night to prevent fire hazard. You were a smart girl, and you would understand that, right? Daddy did leave the lights on, though, to light up your path to a better place. The nice folks at your hospital told me the place is called Rainbow Bridge. I left the candles on after the midnight to maintain a bit of continuity. I hope you slept well last night, and have had a smooth ride to the better place, where there is no longer any pain or suffering for you. Take good care of yourself there, daddy’s little girl.

Mommy said that you must have had psychic power, and that you must have sensed her packing in preparation for a long trip overseas this Sunday with daddy. You know mommy and daddy have been traveling every year around this time for the past three years. We have other family obligations overseas. Sensing that we will soon be gone for a month, you decided to leave while we still had just enough time to take care of things. Had your passing happened while we were 12 time zones away, we would have been even more devastated. You had always been a sensitive and smart girl.

Daddy did not go to work today. Nor did I go yesterday either. Your passing taught me a big lesson that family is infinitely more important than professional achievement. I guess this is why business schools like case studies. This experience makes me literally feel the tremendous loss. I could barely tell the nurse in the hospital what words I wanted to engrave on your urn. I knew what I wanted, but just couldn’t speak out loud. So I wrote them down: Thanks, Kiddy, for 12 wonderful years.

Above all, I wish I would have paid more attention to you. Even when I was spending time where you were nearby, instead of playing with you, I was working on my laptop as usual. Professional survival is no longer an excuse for daddy. Our family has survived and prospered in a foreign culture, which, well, is not exactly foreign to you. You witnessed daddy’s mighty struggle to go from a lowly doctoral student to a respected chaired academic, overcoming all sorts of obstacles. Mommy has provided her unwavering support every step of the way. You also experienced all the highs and lows of daddy’s career as well as our lives. You made the lows less bad and the highs all the sweeter. Yet we lost you, all of sudden, just before we move on to the next chapter of our shared lives. We miss you, Kiddy mee. Without your soothing presence in our lives, mommy and daddy will have to find the strength elsewhere to manage whatever cards that we were dealt with going forward.

In case you find daddy more sentimental than you remembered, I’ll let you in on a secret. For all the successful, tough men out there in the workplace, they only appear tough because they have learned to control (hide) their emotions for professional reasons. I would say that the tough men are more sensitive than other people because they are sensitive enough to sense what others feel, and intuit when to hide their own emotions to avoid hurting others’. We love you deeply, Kiddy mee. You have been such an inseparable part of our lives for 12 years. Now mommy and daddy have to learn how to live without you.

I’m a bit comforted by the fact that I slept in the basement on the night your passing. So I was not that far away when you departed. Your howling at around 5:15am woke me up. Did you try to wake daddy up to say Goodbye and/or to seek help? Anyway, I got up and checked on you immediately. I was worried because you were vomiting in the night before. Before I went to bed at 1:25am, I wiped your mouth clean and cleaned your bed a bit. I then asked: are you ok, Kiddy mee? You responded by wagging your tail a few times. That was reassuring to me. It never crossed my mind that you were dying right in front of my eyes. Nothing prepared daddy to see you in your bed lifeless with eyes open at 5:15am. You looked so peaceful. Your body was still warm and soft. So it seemed that you just left. I called your name many times. Then I said goodbye and good luck kiddy mee. I hope your spirit heard my wishes. I then opened the right top drawer in my desk to check the time on my cell phone. It was 5:20am. I marked your time of passing at 5:15am. Finally, I went upstairs to wake up mommy to break the news.

In retrospect, your behavior on Sunday was all normal, but Monday was unusual. I don’t recall you asked for food in Monday morning, like you did every morning before I go to work. You certainly didn’t bug me for food in Monday afternoon after I was back from work. I noticed vomit stains on the carpet, so I presumed your ate too much already, like you did before. What a colossal mistake daddy made. Please, Kiddy mee, forgive daddy. My mind was on my work, as usual. I’m so very sorry.

We picked up your ashes in a cute urn shortly before 7pm today from your animal hospital. We donated your stock of cat food (that we stored in anticipation of our upcoming one-month absence) to the cats in the hospital. We also gave a donation of $200 to the hospital to thank them for taking care of you in recent years, especially during your surgery on the tail three years ago. The memo of the check says “In memory of Kiddy.”

Your private memorial was set up downstairs last night, right beside daddy’s desk, where you drew the last breath in your pet bed. After we picked up the urn with your ashes, we moved your memorial upstairs in the living room. Your urn with a cute picture of yours is in the middle, right above the fireplace. There are 7 photos of yours to the left of the urn, and 6 photos to the right. Plus the one on your urn, we have 14 different photos, one for each year of your age. You looked dashing in these photos. We also moved the 6 lit candles in front of your photos, all evenly spaced out, with 3 to the left and another 3 to the right. The fresh flowers were put into a vase along with some water. They sit right in front of the fireplace. In front of the flowers, we put your dry-food bowl, but with a can of 9LIVES’s seafood platter inside.

We were happy to see that you liked our two birds. We were a bit worried when mommy adopted the two parrots last year. But you were not jealous for attention at all. You didn’t see them as raw materials for a potential nice dinner either. You even occasionally slept in the same room with them. It seemed that you enjoyed their company. We were so glad that you guys got along so well. We plan to put their cages close to your urn, so they can keep an eye on you and keep you company when mommy and daddy are traveling.

If there are any other things that mommy and daddy can do for you, just let us know. Unlike the first few years after you joined us, mommy and daddy have plenty of money now. What we don’t have is more time with you. And no amount of money can change that.

Just like daddy wishing I would have taken your vomiting more seriously on Monday night, mommy is feeling guilty for not taking better care of you since you started to poop randomly in the house because of your advanced age. She keeps saying that she is very sorry for yelling at you and for forgetting you were becoming a senior cat. But no matter what mommy might have said to you before and/or after cleaning your litter boxes, broadly defined if you know what I mean, mommy loved you at least as much as daddy did. Mommy adopted you in the first place. Mommy bought you food and litter, and cleaned your litter boxes for 12 years. And mommy spotted the small but cancerous tumor on your tail, and quickly took you to the animal hospital to have it removed. You see? Daddy got the best part of playing with you and spoiling you by feeding you 9LIVES when mommy was out of town. But it was mommy who did all the real work of taking care of you.

On this laptop on this desk, daddy has written many things including several well known articles in my field. But this tribute will be the last piece that I will write on this desk. The thought of working in the familiar setting but without your presence is unbearable for daddy. In fact, I’m writing up the rest of the tribute while sitting in a living room sofa to be close to your memorial. See, I just looked up at your pictures now.

The bigger parrot, Mango, was behaving all weird today. When we took him downstairs earlier today, he was all alert, and was trying to fly away. Earlier this evening he was also looking around with a serious face and without his usual playfulness. Mommy said maybe your spirit is still in the house, unwilling to leave. We called out your name plenty of times and said we love you Kiddy mee. Daddy wants to tell you that you need to go to Rainbow Bridge now. Don’t worry about mommy and daddy. As hard as it is, we’re learning to let you go and to accept what happened yesterday morning. Everything is ok. This is life. Our time together was up. We were fortunate to have you in our lives for 12 years. We knew we couldn’t have you forever. Go for your next adventure, Kiddy mee. Mommy and daddy wish you all the best, and will always remember you. You will never be truly gone.

Thanks, Kiddy, for 12 wonderful years.

Love you, Daddy

Kiddy’s life, a summary

July 1996.

Kiddy was born in St. Louis MO, at about the same time daddy came to the city to study. Mommy joined daddy in St. Louis eight months later. We didn’t know Kiddy’s precise date of birth, so we set her birthday to be our wedding day, July 23. We celebrated Kiddy’s birthday and our wedding anniversary together ever since.

??.

Kiddy was sent to Animal Protective Association (APA) of Missouri (in St. Louis) by her previous owner. Kiddy’s previous name was Sarah. Her recommendation letter said Kiddy liked dry food, was affectionate, liked to play balls, but would bite young kids. The last bit was the reason for her to be sent to the APA.

January 1998.

Mommy adopted Kiddy from APA of Missouri. We wanted a small kitten. But Kiddy was so affectionate, and bonded with Mommy right away. The nice people at AFA also pushed Kiddy to mommy, minimizing her biting young kids as self-defense. We didn’t mind this bit at all because we don’t have kids. On that night after returning home from school, daddy met Kiddy for the first time. Kiddy was playful and jumped on daddy’s lap right after daddy sat on a couch. Kiddy and daddy bonded effortlessly. Kiddy quickly became mommy and daddy’s de facto child.

February 1998.

Kiddy went through declawing and spraying procedures administrated by the APA of Missouri. After the procedures, Kiddy became less assertive in her behavior.

July 1998.

Kiddy moved to Philadelphia along with daddy and mommy because daddy was attending a new school there. We drove on highway 70 all the way east. We dropped by Cincinnati to see an uncle. Kiddy was well behaved in the whole road trip. During the four years living in Philly, Kiddy helped daddy and mommy through the darkest days of our lives.

September 1998.

We left Kiddy alone in our apartment for three days for a trip in New York City. On returning, we could hear her meowing even before we opened the front door of the building, which is 25 feet away from the door of our own small apartment. Kiddy missed mommy and daddy, and could recognize our voices from 25 feet away.

October 1998.

Kiddy caught a small mouse in the apartment.

June 1999.

Kiddy moved to a new, bigger apartment with mommy and daddy in West Philly. This place would be our home for the following three years.

June 2002.

Daddy graduated from school. Kiddy moved to Rochester, NY, along with mommy and daddy. Daddy took his first job there. We bought our first house in a nice suburb. Kiddy loved the house, and marked everywhere inside as her territory. But on the moving day, Kiddy gave mommy and daddy a scare by disappearing for almost an hour. Mommy and daddy tried to find her everywhere inside our new house without success. We even tried to find her outside of the house. Eventually, Kiddy emerged all by herself from a hidden closet.

June 2006.

Kiddy moved to Ann Arbor, MI, along with mommy and daddy. Daddy accepted a job there. We stayed in a three-bedroom apartment for three years, and moved into the current house in June 2009.

July 2007.

Upon returning from a month-long trip abroad, mommy spotted a small tumor on Kiddy’s tail. From searching the internet, mommy learned that because of the shape of the tumor, it is very likely cancerous. We prepared for the worst. Mommy took Kiddy to the animal hospital and had the tumor removed. Tests on the tumor after it was removed showed that it is indeed skin cancer. It was at a very early stage, and Kiddy behaved like nothing happened. However, after the surgery, we noticed that Kiddy started to show signs of aging such as pooping in places other than her litter boxes. Following the doctor’s advice, we also avoided Kiddy’s direct exposure to sunlight, which was something she enjoyed doing.

May 2009.

Mommy adopted two parrots. Kiddy and parrots got along great.

June 2009.

Kiddy moved into the current house with mommy and daddy. Mommy and the birds took over the upper two floors of the house. Kiddy and daddy took the walk-out basement, Kiddy for avoidance of exposing to direct sunlight and daddy for the quiet and peace required for creative work. Kiddy and daddy bonded even more deeply. Daddy took over the job of feeding Kiddy twice every day, before going to work and after returning home from work. But the job of cleaning the litter boxes still belongs to mommy.

February 2010.

Kiddy was spotted sleeping in the birds’ room frequently when mommy and daddy were out of town. We interpret the evidence as saying Kiddy liked the birds and their company.

May 18, 2010.

Kiddy passed away suddenly, probably due to cardiomyopathy. Kiddy was behaving normally throughout the weekend of March 15 and 16 (daddy was around her for most of that time). After returning home from work on March 17, daddy spotted Kiddy vomiting and becoming sick. (Kiddy vomited before because of overeating. Daddy thought he gave more food to Kiddy than necessary.) Daddy helped Kiddy clean up a bit before going to bed at 1:25am. Kiddy passed away in her pet bed at around 5:15am, with daddy sleeping about ten feet away.

Our Dearest Kiddy,

We wanted to thank you for the 12 wonderful years that you shared with us. You were such a source of comfort, relaxation, and pleasure. You asked for so little from us, yet you gave so much back.

Your passing was so sudden this morning at around 5:15am. We wish we could have had time to prepare, to say Goodbye. Instead of going to bed, we would have stayed up with you during the final hours of your life. We could have comforted you and made the final moments less painful for you. We wish we could have taken your vomiting yesterday more seriously. We are so sorry, but we had no idea that you were in so much trouble. Unlike our successful fight against your skin cancer three years ago, your latest condition took us by surprise. Your annual check-up a bit more than a year ago showed no sign of distress. You were such a brave girl, a ''strong, independent woman'' in Daddy's words. You didn’t show any signs or symptoms other than the vomiting. Again, we are so sorry. We didn’t have time to respond. Please, don’t blame us. We’re utterly heartbroken.

We have set up a small memorial for you right beside Daddy’s desk, where you used to hang out a lot. The memorial consists of 14 photos of yours (one for each year of your age), a can of 9LIVES’ seafood platter inside your bowl, some fresh flowers on the spot where your bed used to be placed, and six lit candles. We know you liked seafood platter the most, but Mommy insisted on feeding you only dry food to help you with your diet. No need to do it now. Enjoy, Kiddy mee. We lit six candles, because “six” means “smooth” in the culture where we grew up. We were completely useless in anticipating and/or delaying the inevitable, but we hope what we’re doing now, ex post, can make your ascent to Heaven a bit more smooth. We love you so much, Kiddy. Goodbye, and godspeed. Daddy’s home office is so lonely without your soothing presence.

In case you’re wondering, we will pick up your ashes tomorrow from the animal hospital that you sincerely hated. You’re moving with us to the new city in about one month. We have been moving together through four cities in the past 12 years. (Daddy needs to go where the jobs are.) This time is no exception. You’re a permanent member of our family, our “first born” child.

With love, Mommy and Daddy

May 18, 2010

Kiko was my best friend and got me through some rough time in my health life, he will be dearly missed

My Dearest Killer,  
When I picked you up the first day I met you,I knew that we would be together forever. You were the cutest little Chihuahua I had ever seen and you were the love of my life. The funny things you used to do like running around the house in circles when you got excited, or how you would try to jump on the computer chair to be with daddy knowing that you couldn't reach it..well they all seem like distant memories now. If I had known 2 days ago was the last day I would see you, I wouldn't have gone to work that day. You were always such a curious little guy always wanting to make friends with the other dogs in the neighborhood. Daddy turned around for a second and you were off in to the neighbor's yard. Within a matter of seconds, that dog had you for breakfast. Daddy rushed you to the vet as fast as he could trying to stop the bleeding. I came to visit you and could not bare to see you hooked up to oxygen and just broke down. I told you I loved you and that you would be home soon. You just have to get better first. After a long night in the doggie hospital and a slow morning, you passed away at 2pm on Thursday after the blood in your lungs became too much for you and you stopped breathing. The doctor did all she could but it was too late. I was at work when I got the news and felt my heart just drop to the floor. My love, you were only 5 years old and taken away from us so soon. You can never be replaced and you never will. I will cry forever for you my sweet Killer. May God and his Angels take care of you like we did.  
We will always love you,  
Mommy and Daddy

     Our Little Girl Kimmi left us early on the morning of January 7, 2010, joining her brothers and sister at The Bridge. The cute little silky black long-haired Guinea Pig died in her Mommy's arms at 1:13 A.M., ending her battle with mammary tumors.
     Kimmi joined the Sabatini Piggy Klan about one year ago. Of our 11 piggies, she was the only Peruvian. What a beauty she was, her long hair flowing as she walked around her cage. Many friends who met her thought she was a bunny because of her full face and long facial hair.
     Oh how we miss you little one!
     It was just six weeks ago when you fell ill to the dastardly disease that took you from us. Though we are saddened beyond comprehension at you loss, we know now that you are whole again, with no need for daily meds or treatments. Skip merrily with your brothers Midnight, Huey, Chester and Garfield and sister Mama Pajama in the meadows at The Bridge. We long for the day that we will all be together again. Know that we will keep you in our thoughts and prayers until that day when we will be together forever.

     Love, Mommy & Daddy; sisters Junie B., Mimi and Millie; your niece Baby Luv; brothers Dewey, Louis, Blackjack, Cajun, Darby and Maguire, and cousin Ziggy.

King, With you a bit of my heart has also gone to heaven.
I miss you every minute of my days and i will love you forever.
R.I.P. My beloved friend.
Sue and I will miss you forever.

My Dear Sweet Kitty Love:

You were my loyal companion and friend for almost 15 years, nearly half of my life. You stood by me and loved me through good times and bad times, some of which I'm not sure if I could've made it through without you. I am so grateful for the time we had together, all the cuddles and the kisses, and I'm so sorry for all of the times I thought I didn't have time to show you how much I cared about you. Thank you for being such a kind mamma kitty to my baby and for staying alive long enough to meet her. I hope you are glad that we fought for you and gave you those extra months through the kidney failure. It was time to let go and I'm glad I was there to hold you and love you one last time while you passed on. I HOPE I will see again, it would be one of the happiest moments of my life. How I wish you were here in my lap. What I wouldn't give to hear you meowing incessantly in the other room and getting kitty litter all over the place and stepping on my keyboard while I try to type. You've taught me to cherish every moment, because at some point everyone and everything will pass on. I will cherish your memory forever, crazy Kitty.

In loving remembrance of Kizzy otherwise know as "Kizzybelle" a much loved and very sadly missed companion and friend. Kizzy was a Tortoiseshell Cat or as you call them in the USA a Calico Cat. I first met her as a little kitten but it was not until about 18 months afterwards that she was to come into the life of myself and my then lady. Our previous cat, Thomas, had died of FIV about 6 months or so previously and was sadly missed. The people with whom Kizzy had been living wanted to start a family and were looking for a home for Kizzy. We gladly welcomed her and for the next 20 years she was to be a greatly loved member of the family, we had no children. Even when myself and my former partner went our separate ways, although we stayed friendly to each other, and Kizzy satyed in her home with a lovely big garden and all her feline friends, I used to visit her when I was in that town on other business.

Alas all good things come to their end and veternary medicine could not cure the cancer which poor Kizzy developed in her final months and she had to be put to sleep in her 22 years, a very good age for a cat.

I do not have cat at present and she is very greatly missed. Although her body is buried in her back garden with Thomas and Clyde her two predecessors, I take great comfort that she and they will one day meet with me at Rainbow Bridge.

It's been 1 year since Mommy & Daddy last hugged & kissed you. We would give anything to be able to play with you one more time. There isn't a day that goes by that Daddy & I don't remember something that you did that would make us laugh or cry.

It broke our hearts that we had to make the final decision to let you go but it would have been selfish of us if we didn't. The right thing to do and the hardest thing to do are usually the same thing. You are now in a better place, healthy and pain free, running with Tammy, Jackson, Cozmo, Princess and Snickers.

You were such a sweet girl, always by Mommy's side like my shadow and when you were frightened by thunder or something, you would run to Daddy for protection.

I cannot put into words how deeply you are loved and missed but you already know that, don't you. We know you are watching over us, waiting patiently until we are all together again. Until then, I kiss your picture, touch your framed paw print, rub your urn and jingle the tags on your collar which is hanging on your urn every day. We still leave the radio on for you during the day, you did like your music.

You gave Mommy & Daddy almost 16 years of unconditional love & made us better people for having you part of our family. One day we will meet at the Rainbow Bridge and all be together again.

Koala, you will always be in our hearts and our best friend forever!!!!

Lots of Love

Mommy & Daddy XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Kobe was my love.....a beautiful Seal Point Bi-Color Ragdoll cat. From the moment he was placed in my arms, it was TRUE LOVE on my part. He was smart, inquisitive and much more like a dog in the respect he would come to you when called, when we came home, he would come out and meet you at the door, when I worked, he knew my schedule and would be close by the back door waiting for me to come home. He would only drink out of the bathroom faucet and the bathtub faucet until he got so crippled he couldn't jump at all anymore, which is finally why I had to make the difficult decision to let him go. I knew he was miserable. My vet didn't seem to think he was in pain, neither did the specialist (neurologist) vet we took him to. After many different tests, the 2 vets really felt there was a neurological disorder but without exploratory surgery there was no way to be sure, nor was there a guarantee that they could fix what was wrong.....and the cost was astronomical....like around $12,000 - $15,000.....again, no guarantee they could fix him. We tried pain medication and it never made any difference. We tried steroids and that didn't seem to work either. He got to the point a few days ago that when he would get up from a lying or sitting position, he would drag his rear and his back legs until he got moving....usually took only 3-4 steps, and then once he would get his back legs working, his rear end would quickly give out on him. The steroids only added weight to him and that didn't help his situation, so with many, many tears, regrets, guilt (which is normal), I could no longer watch him struggle and since I couldn't be 100% sure if he was in pain, I just couldn't live with watching him struggle so much anymore.....I didn't want him suffering. I knew he had to be confused why he couldn't do things he always had.....even getting in and out of his litterbox was difficult. I spent the entire weekend with him knowing Monday morning, 9/20/10 would be the last morning I would brush him and be able to hold and love on him. He was truly an 'angel' in a cats body. In 2005, I was diagnosed with cancer and had to have chemo. Kobe stayed on the bed with me, curled up all day beside me with his paw on my hand or arm. He was a treasure and I feel so fortunate to have had him for 9 years. Kobe, I miss you terribly and I will love you forever. If my love could have kept you healthy, you would have lived forever, that is how much I loved you.....but it wasn't enough, so......I have entrusted you my sweet boy, back to the ONE who created you, praying and believing that God will one day reunite us together in Heaven. You will always be my very special boy.......I LOVE YOU KOBE!

My baby Kodey, how will I ever go on without you :-( You were my best friend. I love you so much. I can't believe that your gone :-( I am going to miss you so much. I had to let you go suddenly and it breaks my heart to of had to make that tough decision. I didn't want to be selfish and try to keep you here with me for me. I know with surgery and the whole outcome, you would have suffered more than anything and it's the last thing I wanted for you. I wish I could of had you forever, you would have been an awesome lifetime buddy. You are so special to me and I hope that you are reunited with your Mom Kasey who passed away in 2008 and all your sisters and brothers. You have been with me since the day you were born, I watched you come into this world and had to watch you leave it too :-( But I know we will meet again one day and we will be together forever. You are my best buddy Kodey, no words could explain how I feel right now without you, how much I love you and how much I will miss you. I hate this feeling, it's so quiet at night here without you :-( I know your in a better place now and all your pain is gone and I hope I dream of you often and when the time comes that it's my turn to cross over, I will think about you and Kasey and will be happy to be going to see you. I love you Kodey more than a lot of people I know. To me you were not "just a dog", you were my family, my son, my best friend and I will remember you forever. You gave me 12 years of unconditional love, went through my teenage years with you and you were with me through out having my 2 boys which loved you and miss you too and you were such a good boy and so soft and sweet... you will be in my heart forever. I love you and miss you deeply :-( RIP my old friend. xoxoxoxoxox

Michelle

Koko my girl...my sweet baby girl...I love you & I am so sorry that you got out of the house while I was at work. I didn't know you were missing until I got home hours later..You must have been so scared...honey...you were an indoor cat...I'm so sorry mama couldn't save you from your fate. I miss you so much...I miss your cuddles & kisses in bed, I miss you biting my feet when you are hungry...I miss you grabbing at my legs when I get in the shower...you knew that meant I was leaving for the day...Koko beans I cannot believe you are gone...I didn't get to say goodbye...you were beautiful...a little monkey...so full of energy...always entertaining yourself...putting bottle caps in my shoes...you learned at an early age how to play alone...mama had to work night shifts...I miss you baby girl & my life will never be the same without you.

Hi Kona! I hope you are having a fun time playing in the fields with Kodi. I know you are chasing squirrels and getting skunked like you usually do:) I cant wait to come play tug-of-war with you in heaven! see you in no time!
Love forever my Kona pup!
Cassidy

Kona puppy wuppy,
I'm going to miss you sleeping by my bedside every night. I remember when I picked you out of your litter, naming you, and bringing you home. You were always so smart, learning quickly how to "high five", shake, and roll over. Have fun in dog heaven with Kodi and Bipper, we will see you soon! I know you know we love you more than words could say. Cambel wonders where you are to butt his head against yours and play. You will be missed every day, everywhere. See you soon.
Love, Jamie <3

Kona Girl;
I miss you so much and see your sweet eyes looking at me. You were the best pet; faithful, smart and loyal to all of us. You were the best snuggler too. I miss touching your ears and looking at your eyelashes...SO long they were!! Your coat was like black velvet after grooming and Jamie and Cass spruced you up inbetween to. We never wanted you to hurt and love you so very very much. You brought SO much joy to our family and held us together; a bond we so deeply needed. I know you will look for us again and be waiting until we see each other again. You will LOVE Kodi and Bipper too. You can all snuggle and play together. Your doggie friends here miss you so much too and wonder where their playful friend is. Lucky, Otis, Maggie, Charlie, Taylor, Asta and even Libby. So many of your people friends remember you and cherish the fun moments you brought to them too. Everyone loved you and YOU loved everyone! We love and miss you SO SO much!
Mommy

Kona, Kona Girl, Puppers, Pupperdoodle, Curly Girl, The Goldennoodle,

We miss you so much. Please forgive us for our mistake. We would never want to hurt you. You were the best. sweetest, most loving dog and we were blessed to have you. I'll fovever miss your hugs and having a 70 lb lap dog. We will miss rubbing your curls on your head and seeing you shake your butt in happiness. Please wait for us and remember our love every day until then. You always wanted to do the right thing and were so easy. Everyone loved you and thought you were so pretty and sweet. Love
Dad

WE WILL REMEMBER YOU AND LOVE YOU UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN IN HEAVEN, AND THEN FOREVER AFTER THAT.:) <3

Dearest Koosah, You were such an awesome companion! You came to us when you were one year old. Your energy and vitality stayed with you all your years until the last two weeks. Then cancer took you away with no warning. I still miss your familiar "talk" as your inner alarm clock went off to say it was dinner time. 7:00 on the dot. You talked up a storm until you got what you wanted. You were the last of the canines from Elmira to be with us and I miss you so much. I still have a void where my heart is for you. Last night I gave our newest family members their dinner and remembered you. The big loving kiss you gave every night when I put your bowl in front of you. You never forgot. I don't get those anymore. The others are small dogs, not big Standard Poodles like you. Our final day with you will stay with me forever. We took a 3 hour long trip to the lake and to the places we have been together, just to bask in the memories. It was a delight and you were such a trooper. Thanks for being my loving friend, until we meet again at Rainbow Bridge. Bev and Jim.

RIP Koosh...
by Cindy Luft Morrison on Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 7:05pm

My beloved dog was put to rest 9/9/10 at 10:19am. He lived his 14 years with me. He was very affectionate, protective and loving. He used to sleep on my bed and was never relaxed unless his eyes were in constant contact with me. This morning, I hugged, kissed and told him how much I love him. I felt this tremendous rip of heartbreak and pain. I screamed and cried. I was devastated. I thought my heart would shatter into a million pieces. I didn't want to accept the reality. My grief is so deep and so raw. I feel like a part of myself died along with KOOSH. I have never been so sick with grief. The intensity of losing Koosh is indescribable. He enriched my life tremendously. He helped me to fully experience what love is... it was truly an honor and joy to have had the opportunity to live with this wonderful living being. when it is my turn to pass to the other side... I will see my boy again.. Love continues... no matter what being you are... love endures for eternity and I know that one day we will be reunited... RIP my KOOSH...

Kramer we will miss you very much! You were a brave boy and a GOOD BOY! Remember the silver cord that connect us through time and space - AND will never be broken. You will always be remembered as our Good Little Boy! Give Brittany a kiss from us when you see her on the Bridge. LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER! When we go for a walk in the park; you will be in our thoughts and prayers. Especially because you always had to LEAD THE WAY!!! AND WE WILL ALWAYS THINK OF YOU WHEN WE SEE YOUR FAVORITE COOKIES AT THE STORE.
AMEN

You were given to us five years ago by a very special person. She wanted you to have a very good home and she asked us if we could take you. Of course we said yes. We were so lucky to have you as our precious little angel Kuddles. You lived up to your name. When we adopted your brother Spartacus and your sister Molli,you took them in as if they were your own puppies. They are going to miss you so much. We are going to miss your cute bark, how you would greet us with you nibbling on our fingers when we would come home, when we would rub your back and you would give us a cute little dance. You will always be our "So Pretty Baby Kuddles". We are going to miss you so much and we will always love you and you will forever be in our hearts my "Baby Gal". We will see you and your brothers & sisters when God calls us home. Love You Baby Gal Kuddles. Love your mom and dad, Abe and Johnette.

Kyra baby,

Momma just wants to let you know how much I miss you. Everywhere I walk in the house I expect to see you. Momma and Poppa have such a hole in our hearts that we are having a very hard time filling. Bobo is still looking for you every now and then. I think she is really lonely especially during the day while we are at work.

I am so sorry baby because we thought we were putting you in good hands, but I guess all people do not see our little furry loved ones need to be cared for like we did.

I long for the day that I can hold you in my arms at the rainbow bridge. For you to snuggle with me and give me kisses. I promise I will bring you a big slice of cheese.

We are going to be moving to our new house soon, the one I told you about. It really doesn't feel the same because one of the reasons we picked this house was because of the yard for you. It just isn't the same and it feels really sad going there knowing that we are not bring you with us.

I love you baby so much and I am really having a hard time going day to day with this hugh lumps in my heart.

I miss you baby girl :( xoxoxo

Love Mommy