The Soul and Spirit of the Unwanted One
Written by Melissa Ann Marie Hawker
November 21, 1998
The unwanted one cradled in the shoe
Gazed upon my eyes
With one look, she said,
"Love Me"
As I looked to the other,
The beauty astounded me.
A favorite into my eyes she became.
The day came and went and your sister left.
The Jewel of my heart departed.
Now left was you,
plain and gray.
Once again, you looked into my heart and soul saying,
"Love Me".
I despised you, "for you are not beautiful to me," I thought.
With an attitude of love, a raise of a paw, a crooked view of the tilted
head;
once again you looked to me
"Love Me"
A month or two had passed in time,
and yet you still remained.
She sat and slept in my father's odor filled shoe quietly with an innocent
look.
"Love Me"
A gaze from the golden eyes melted me.
The years passed by, as you always remained through my most difficult moments
of life, you were still here right beside me.
"Love Me"
The tears and laughter we shared together.
"Love Me"
You stood upon my heart and opened the door.
I let you in.
The morning rituals became a sweet fragrance of your love for me.
A scratch or two.
Yet no answer from me.
Yet another scratch upon the wooden
door.
I awake to hear your precious knocks of love upon my heart.
I
open the door.
You come to me and cry at me, "Love Me!"
I say to her, "You my friend, are a miracle to me!"
On the cloudiest, darkest, gloomiest days of my life, you remained beside.
"Love Me"
As I shut the door, you cry.
As I come home, you waited for me and said,
"Love Me"
I shared my milk, my sleeping bag in the tent in the backyard, the covers
to
my bed, my love, my time, my happiness and playfulness with you.
The years came and went, your name changed so many times.
There was no agreed upon name for you.
The last name I had for you was "Pee".
Whenever, I thought I lost you, a whistle came from my vocal cords and
mouth.
I thought I lost you as you came running to my feet
"Love Me"
You cry.
"I am still here with you."
An attitude of such, "I will never leave you and await for your presence."
You cried; I ran to your side.
You smiled; I smiled.
You sat upon my shoulder; I was proud.
You sat and awaited longing to see me; I the same for you.
You sat upon my lap looking at the world through out the window of wonder
and amazement.
You layed waiting upon the monitor as I spent hours upon the computer;
I waited for you.
"Love Me"
Time passed and I was in Oregon.
I was not at your side when you were sick.
I prayed, I hoped, I cried to see you
one last time.
I
cried when I told them, "relieve her of the pain."
I stood alone upon the parking garage of the top floor, looking upon the
heavens, I cried and grasped my hands towards the heavens to hold you and
let
you go. I gazed upon one star and thought of you. The chimes rang at 8:05pm
on October 21, 1998; a feeling of over - whelming love, freedom, and
loneliness came upon me.
You my friend,
showed me love and the door.
A love so strong you remain in my heart, soul, and thoughts as I light
a
candle for you tonight.
You showed and cried to me,
"Love Me"
You my friend, are a miracle.
I look towards the heavens for you to say "Love Me, I am still here
for you in Spirit".
"Love Me"
I shall await for the time I will have with you again.
I thank you.
I now give you the name through the years that remained in my heart as,
The Love of My Life
In memory of my best friend, The Love of My Life:
Countless Blueberrie, Puffy, Smokey, Tuffy, S.T.P., P.S.T., Brat, Terd,
Pig,
Pee, and The Love of My Life.
August 30, 1986 - October 21, 1998
Survived by her mother, Duchess and still possibly her sister, Teddy Bear.
The father still might be alive.
The Love of My Life was born in a card board box in my parent's room one
afternoon after a Y.A.F.L. game my brother played in. A litter of three,
two
surviving, the little boy departed soon after.
Her spirit still remains within me and I await to see her at Rainbow Bridge.